Now I get It: Running from the Perspective of a 10 Minute Miler

While I am a runner in the sense that I actually run, I never really considered myself a runner. I enjoy running and I believe it is truly one of the best form of exercise out there. But I am not a fast runner (see title) and oftentimes look like an injured turtle moving through peanut butter on the side of the road. I get through this terrifying point by avoiding eye contact on the road and running away from people I know...They can't see me like that.

But I have never truly understood why it is that people LOVE running. I find it fun, most times I find it bearable and less frequently I find it to be addictive. I buy good shoes, I read a few articles about how to eat right and correct form, but I still feel as if I have yet to break into the running community.

Yet, as I have been training for my half marathon, I have found myself moving into the role of a true runner. I'm logging miles, advancing in my training and loving running. Last week I ran 10 miles. I rested the day before, had a light nutritious breakfast and felt incredible during most of my run. 10 miles is a long time. 1:40:48 is a long time (like anyone's counting) but I couldn't wait to do it again this weekend.

Saturday I ran 12 miles in 1:56:40. I woke up at 7am on Saturday simply because I was ready to tackle 12 miles. I wanted to know that feeling great during 10 miles the week before was not a fluke, and I was chasing the feeling of complete exhaustion, accomplishment and pride. During my 12 miles, I figured it out: now I get it.

While I certainly struggled and used a lot of mental motivation ("A body in motion will stay in motion") to keep me from walking a single step, there were moments when I realized what running is about. About mile 2 or so (it takes me a while to warmup), it hits you. You feel like you're floating. Your body mechanics are working perfectly and for a few strides, running is effortless. You feel swift (emphasis on feel... for the record I am not implying I AM swift), your stride is light and running feels great. Then, you trip on a rock, fall in a ditch or change the song on your iPod and its gone. But you want it back. So you push through Mt. Kilimanjaro (or the rolling hills of MD) determined to get the feeling back. You run, less gracefully than you imagine, for the intangible euphoria they call runners high. Just when you're about to give up in mile 6, it's back. You're invincible and considering, in moment of lost reality, signing up for the 2016 Olympics. You're that good. Yet again, this moment is fleeting and you're back to being a hot mess on the side of the road, pushing through.

But I understand now. The feeling you get during a run is something you will forever chase. I can feel it now, sitting on my porch with my coffee on a Monday morning. I can't wait to get back out there and chase it down. For my riding friends, this feeling is akin to working so hard, for so long in search of that perfect ride. The moment your horse is light in your hands, balanced between your legs and moving so well it feels like riding a cloud. It doesn't happen often, but you're determined to make it that way.

I'm not a fast runner, I don't think I will ever be. I'm not a graceful runner. But I am runner, forever in search of that wonderful feeling. Hopefully I feel the same after I tackle 13.1 next weekend, and a big part of my says that I will. Happy Running!

FOBU and Other Traumatic Twenty-something Events

About 6 weeks ago, I came across a Tweet featuring FOBU or the "Fear Of Breaking Up". I was in the middle of a tumultuous mind and heart battle about my almost-4 year relationship and was drawn to the article. What I found was an honest, straightforward article outlining the paralyzing fear we face about being single.
In short, the article prompted me to really think about my relationship, what I want and what is best for the both of us. I could not stay in a relationship where we did not meet each others needs out of convenience and comfort. There are so many circumstances that can make it seem better to stay together. But there were a few points that really hit home.

Loving someone does not mean he or she is your best match. Jo writes, "Just because a person isn’t right for you in the long-term doesn’t mean that you don’t care deeply for him. Adore him, even". And that was my case. I did and still very, very much love my ex. He is a wonderful young man who has some of the best qualities anyone could ever ask for. That didn't mean we could give each other everything we needed.

But the most important part of the article comes from  Tracey , a Manhattan dating coach: “The cure for FOBU is to grow a set of balls, or ovaries, your choice,” Tracey said. “You’re not doing either of you any favors by staying with someone who isn’t right for you. You deserve to be in a relationship where you have fun, feel good about yourself, and are excited to see your partner. Break up and enjoy the freedom that comes with being available for new and exciting options.”

(I did intend for this post to be somewhat funny and witty...let's hope we get there soon).

Aside from the excellent advice, there was a concerning theme through the article: FEAR. As a comfortably 'taken' young woman for the past few years, I was intrigued why so many single people felt fear. Why fear?! There's a whole world of viable young men just waiting to be met!

 As I gained the courage to end my relationship, I felt a sense of empowerment. I.Was.Invincible. I was going to cry for a few weeks, finally emerge from my bedroom a transformed and single butterfly ready to conquer the world. Fear was not a question in my mind. I wanted freedom.

Yet as I grapple with my new found freedom, I see exactly the fear this article addresses. I have experienced this roller coaster of emotions of optimism, shortly followed by an anxiety attack in which I will be alone. FOREVER. This intense, paralyzing fear that I will never find another person again in the world. Society will forever pin me as an outcast. I will always have to eat dinner alone in the park. I will never have a wedding date ever again. THE HORROR of all these damn Zoosk ads popping up in my internet.

And then, it subsides. My less dramatic, more rational portion of my brain takes over for a fleeting moment, and while I think I am alone in this traumatic event, I realize I am not. It takes a lot of mental coaching to make it through a breakup. Admittedly, I am having a harder time than I thought. That freedom I so craved can, at times, feel isolating. But alas, the tumult of a breakup far outweighs the casualties of FOBU.

I have a lot of optimism for the future and there are very few doors I ever consider closed. Life in your twenties is not as glamorous as it seems. You crash your car. You spill coffee on your white blouse before a client meeting. You fall down a set of stairs in a skirt and your favorite stilettos. You breakup with someone who means a lot to you. It all happens. It's all traumatic. It's all part of growing up.

Running Around

What a week! I am happily posting from Atlanta, one of my favorite places. I have really come to like Atlanta in my 6 or so months here. It's been absolutely beautiful the past few weeks and the 85 degree temps have it feeling like summer!

I did a quick run last night and mixed in a few 'challenges' along the way.  For some reason, 3 straight miles seemed really boring. So I picked a few spots along my run to mix in some squats, bench step ups, stairs, lunges and box jumps. It was the pick-me-up I needed along the way.

This past weekend I ran my longest.run.ever. I logged 10 miles in 1:40:38. Yes, I am a slow runner. But my goal is not speed, it's finishing. I actually really enjoyed my 10 miles. I felt great the whole time and realized how mental running is. I knew I had a long run, so I set my playlist and got to it. Looking forward to my half, where it is my goal to run the entire thing-no matter how long it takes-I reminded myself of my goal and refused to stop in my 10 miles. I felt incredibly accomplished when I was done and I am (surprisingly) looking forward to my final long run this weekend where I will tackle 12 miles.

Also this weekend is a wedding! Wooo! Weddings are so much fun and a great reason to wear fancy clothes! I also get to see my mom, stepdad and the girls this weekend too. As crazy as they are, I miss them a lot.

Tonight, I'm jumping on one last work call, going for a walk, finishing some work and hopefully making a dent in The Great Gatsby.

Here's a little light reading for your Tuesday, and because The Mindy Project isn't on and because I love Mindy Kalig. Have a good night!

They always come back...

In this case 'they' is me...I'm back! It's been almost a year since I started this blog and while I have neglected it for QUITE some time, I've decided to break my hiatus and jump back into the blogging world. A lot has changed since I've started this blog.. meaning my perspective has as well. Read if you like, ignore if you don't.

Since my transition into the working world, my enthusiasm for knowledge has been revealed again. I. Can't. Get. Enough. of everything there is in this world. Jumping into a career has uncovered how much I still have to learn and my passion for what I do makes me hungry to continue to learn, grow and develop (besides... I am always hungry). The point being, there is so much to learn and so much to share. I had started this blog as a way to share tips and ideas for food and fitness. But there is so much more out there and I intend to inform all of you of it!

I thought about changing my blog name for a fresh start. But really, I think the name fits and if in the future I want to change it I can (I just googled this blog name and "Postpartum Progress" came up... so about that name change....). One thing I've learned is NOTHING is permanent. Everything always changes... we'll call it 'progression'.

I can't promise I will post regularly and I can't promise it will always be entertaining, but I will be sharing with you thoughts my corner of the world-wherever that happens to be at the time. Enjoy!